Sunt bogat …am mostenit bani …. NOT …

8 08 2008
Am primit azi urmatorul mail …il vedeti mai jos. Stau si ma gandesc eu asa cu capu’ …meu … oare exista cineva care pune botul la asa ceva ?
With due respect I am Dr. George Ali Usman from Benin Republic, further more, I’m contacting you basically on the information that centred on your part as the recipient of a financial Instrument hereinafter shall be referred as International Bank draft boldly written in your favor to the tone of €750.000 (Seven Hundred And Fifty Thousand Euros) payable at any International Settlement worldwide.
In accordance with the knowledgeable instruction given to me by the issuing person “Mr. Honorey Pascal†in respect of the aforesaid cheque, that you helped him tremendously in the past which he is showing his great gratitude for all your collective assistance and contribution towards achieving a height of dignity.
However, I’m delighted to bring to your understanding that three gentle men walk into my office some days ago with the news that you were dead and before you passed on to eternal glory that you named them as your next of kin, therefore the cheque should be released to them as every subsequent charges to enable release the cheque will be paid off by them.
When the Bank Sec. Service Debit note was submitted to my desk for final approval I notice that there are discrepancies as there was no evidence of Authorization latter from your humble self for the change of beneficiary or it equivalent whatever, I urgently summoned the Sec, to stop the release of the financial instrument and place a stop order instruction on the release pending when your views and comments are received with regard to this matter.
In view of the above alertness however, you are therefore required with utmost attention to response with the below information this include:
a)      Your Full Name_________________
b)      Address/City_____________________________
c)      International Passport or Drivers License __________
d)      Telephone Number/Fax______________________________
In receipt of the above info I shall personally forward to you the scanned copy of the International Bank Draft via e-mail attachment, and I shall also advice that you print out and take it directly to your Bank for conformation of the authenticity, while I make adequate arrangement for the delivery through a Bank delivery system as financial Instrument are delivered by a recognized and registered firm. Should you have any question concerning this message do not hesitate to contact me privately as follows:
Anticipating your immediate response
Warmest  Regard.
Dr. U. A. George
+229 93643879




nu rupe lantul …

7 08 2008

Aduc multumirile mele tuturor celora care mi-au trimis e-mail-uri in ultimul timp …….

Tin neaparat sa multumesc si aceluia care mi-a trimis unul despre rahatul  de soarece amestecat in lipiciul plicurilor pentru ca acum folosesc un  prosop umed la fiecare plic ce trebuie lipit.

Deasemenea,acum frec cu peria partea superioara a fiecarei conserve pe care o deschid,din acelasi motiv.

Nu mai am deloc economii deoarece le-am donat toate unei fete bolnave (Penny Brown );care este pe patul de moarte intr-un spital pentru a  1.387.258 oara.

Nu mai am de fapt niciun ban,dar situatia se va schimba odata ce voi primi  fondul de 15.000 $ pe care Bill Gates/Microsoft si AOL mi-l vor trimite  pentru ca am participat la programul lor special de e-mail-uri…

Sau de la functionarul superior al bancii din Nigeria care vrea sa imparta  cu mine 7 milioane $ pretinzand ca sunt o ruda indepartata a unui client  decedat fara testament

Nu- mi mai fac nicio problema legata de sufletul meu pentru ca am 363.214  ingeri pazitori care vegheaza asupra mea, si Sfanta Maica Tereza imi  indeplineste orice dorinta.

Nu mai folosesc deodorantele cauzatoare de cancer,chiar daca miros ca un  bivol intr-o zi fierbinte.

Am invatat ca rugaciunile mele vor primi raspuns daca dau mai departe e-mail-ul catre sapte dintre prietenii mei si sa-mi pun o dorinta in cinci  minute.

Datorita grijii ce mi-o purtati nu mai beau Coca-Cola deoarece dizolva depunerile din toaleta.

Nu mai cumpar benzina fara sa am un prieten care sa-mi pazeasca masina astfel incat un criminal in serie nu se poate urca pe banca din spate in timp ce eu alimentez.

Nu mai ma duc la targuieli in marile magazine deoarece cineva ma va paraliza cu un aftershave de proba si ma va jefui.

Nu mai raspund la telefon deoarece cineva ma va pune sa formez un numar pentru care voi primii o nota de plata pentru convorbiri cu Jamaica,Uganda,Singapore si Uzbekistan.

Multumita voua ,nu mai pot folosi toaleta altuia decat a mea deoarece un  mare paianjen maro African sta ascuns sub colac gata sa ma omoare instantaneu cu muscatura lui plasata pe fundul meu.

Si multumita importantelor voastre sfaturi,  Nici nu mai pot ridica bancnota de 50 pe care am gasit-o in parcare pentru  ca probabil a fost plasata acolo de un maniac sexual care asteapta sub  masina sa ma traga de picioare.

Daca nu trimeti acest e-mail la cel putin 144.000 de persoane in urmatoarele 70 de minute, un porumbel urias suferind de diaree va ateriza  pe capul tau la 17.00 in dupa amiaza urmatoare iar mustele de la 12 camile  iti vor infecta spatele si va duce la cresterea unei cocoase paroase.

Stiu ca asta se va intampla deoarece de fapt i s-a intamplat o data unei  rude indepartate a cosmeticianului verisoarei celui de-al doilea sot al  fostei soacre a prietenului vecinului meu de palier.

Apropo…un cercetator Sud-American dupa studii indelungate a descoperit ca  oamenii cu un coeficient de inteligenta scazut si care au activitate  sexuala rara,citesc e-mail-urile cu mana pe mouse.

Nu te obosi s-o ridici acum…

E prea tarziu!!!